Northman's Still Off the Market: The Outtakes
by Miss Construed
Summary: Outtakes of Sorry Ladies, Northman's Off the Market. AU/AH
1. Mr Deliciousness

**AN:** So, I know I said that NOM was over, and it was. BUT, **seasonblogs** decided to pay a heck of a lot of money for me to continue it AND to support a really great cause in the Support Stacie Vampire Auction. She got to read it first, and asked that it be shared with all of you as well. So, here you go… a little bonus NOM, courtesy of **seasonblogs** and her generosity. Hope you enjoy!

**Mr. Deliciousness**

"Sookie," Pam said, linking her arm through mine as we walked towards the club. "I am so happy that you and Eric straightened all your problems out."

"Um… thanks Pam," I said, looking over at Pam and smiling skeptically. It wasn't like her to be overly sentimental, but I supposed she might have felt a bit responsible for everything we'd gone through.

"No," she said emphatically, "thank you. I thought I was going to stab him. He was being such a buzz kill. He ran off three different girls I brought home last week alone. How is a girl supposed to get laid when you've got Boo Radley popping out and ruining everything?"

Ah, of course. Leave it to Pam to make it all about her. Hell, she wouldn't be Pam if she didn't. It was one of her many charms.

"Yes Pam," I said, patting her hand with my own, "we did it all because of you."

"It's a damned good thing you did," she replied. "I didn't think I could take much more of living with Grumpy Pants McGee. Speaking of, when is he going to move the rest of his stuff over to the apartment?"

"Pam!" I gasped. It had been three weeks since I flew back from Stockholm, and just one week since Eric and I had worked out the misunderstanding. We'd been practically inseparable, sure, but we weren't really at that _moving in _talk stage.

"What?" she responded, opening the door to the club and gesturing me to go in first. "I've hardly seen him at the house since you two made up. It's like I live alone again, not that I'm complaining. But I did hear from Cal that he hardly sees you either." She waggled her eyebrows at me as I walked past her. "So I can only imagine what the two of you are getting up to."

Oh God, she was talking to my doorman Cal about us? I could just imagine what he would have relayed to her. He always seemed to give me a knowing look when we did leave, though I wasn't ready to face the implication there. Hell, it was true, we barely left the apartment. Every time we intended to leave, we always got distracted with, well… each other. Being with him, knowing fully that we both wanted to be with each other without any doubts, made it difficult to want to do anything else.

"Yes," I said curtly. "Well, we haven't had that discussion." Goodness, I wasn't even sure if that was a discussion I wanted to have. We were too comfortable to go rocking the boat with a conversation like that. It was a huge step, one that I wasn't sure I even wanted to broach with him. Though it seemed like a lot longer, for all intents and purposes, we'd only known each other for a matter of months, and only had been "together" for five weeks, two of which we'd spent apart. That was hardly enough time to make a decision like that, though truth be told, I had to admit that the thought of waking up to Eric every day did hold its appeal.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as we walked towards the booth that Pam had arranged for our farewell night out with Stav and Amelia, both of whom were already waiting and looked to be at least one bottle of champagne in.

"Sookie," Amelia squealed, jumping out of her chair and running towards me to embrace me in a bear hug.

_Okay, so Amelia herself was a bottle in. This should be entertaining._

"Hey Amelia," I said, unwinding her arms from my neck before she choked me. "How long have you been here?"

"Oh, not too long." She stopped and looked behind me. "Where's the man?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Wear him out did you?"

"Oh Jesus," Pam said, rolling her eyes. Much as she liked to joke, Pam had made it abundantly clear that she didn't want details of our sex life. "He's in the back somewhere. He had to finish up some paperwork at the club."

"Oh goodie," Amelia said, taking a hold of both of our hands and ushering us to sit down at the table where Stav sat and gave Amelia an amused smile.

"Sorry Sookie," he said with a smile, "I told her that we should wait until you got here, but she insisted on toasting to us, over and over."

I could just imagine what her toasts had been, if her previous toasts were any indication. Thank God for Stav. I couldn't even imagine Amelia without him anymore. She'd always been a loose cannon.

"Yes!" Amelia squealed. "A toast is a fabulous idea Stavie!" She clumsily filled two empty champagne glasses and handing them to Pam and me. "Let's all go around in a circle and make a toast to Eric and Sookie!"

"But he's not here," I said, dreading what Amelia – or Pam for that matter – would say. Actually, maybe it was better if Eric _wasn't _here.

Amelia waived her hand dismissively, causing the bubbly liquid to pour over the side and spill on her hand. She looked down at her wet hand with a frown before raising it to her mouth and lapping it up. "You go first Pam," she said, "then you Stav, and I'll go last." She nodded resolutely and sat down, her attention completely focused on Pam.

"Why the hell not?" Pam shrugged, and raised her glass in my direction. "To my brilliance at connecting the two of you. To not having to hear Eric whine about women and to getting you laid!" I felt myself turn red at her proclamation as she tipped her head in my direction and drained her glass.

Okay, one down. Yes, it was definitely better that Eric wasn't here to witness this.

Stav, ever the gentleman, raised his glass in my direction and smiled. "To overcoming the hurdles in your path, and finding the one you are meant to be with. May you be as happy as Amelia and I are." He tossed back the liquid in one shot and gave me a wink at my mouthed, "thank you." At least there was nothing to be embarrassed about there. Of course, that didn't help deter Amelia.

"To Sookie," she said, "who called me many weeks ago to tell me she'd spied the perfect specimen of man unloading a case of beer. What did you call him again? Mr. Gorgeous?" She bit her lip and furrowed her brows. "No. That's not right. Mr. Delightful? No… oh! I remember. Mr. Deliciousness!" I groaned as I recalled that conversation I had with Amelia. She giggled when she saw me nod slightly. I couldn't really be blamed; he'd been a gorgeous stranger that I thought I'd never see again. Hell, I gave nicknames to a lot of people I'd never met, who would have thought that one would have been any different. Just the other day, I'd nicknamed a woman at the restaurant Eric and I had been eating at 'Sluttyana Whorinskya'; it was second nature. Let's just hope that she was able to keep her big fat mouth shut when Eric did get here. "To Sookie finding and nabbing her Mr. Deliciousness!" she blurted out and began laughing, before she tossed back her champagne and looked up at me with a smile.

I tilted my glass in her direction and threw it back myself. The bubbles slid down my throat and burned a delightful path down my chest. I felt better already, though I was going to need a hell of a lot more of that if the rest of the evening was going to be anything like this.

"Hey," I heard a deep voice say before its owner slid into the booth next to me and nuzzled my neck.

_Shit._ Oh God. How long had he been standing there? Please tell me he didn't hear that. I would be mortified. Beyond mortified. He always laughed at my observational nicknames, but I knew he'd never let me live his down. _Please God, please let him have missed that._

"Eric!" I screeched, jumping in my seat to face him and search his face.

"I missed you," he said, low enough so that only I could hear. While his eyes looked amused, he didn't say anything, didn't let on that he heard anything. Maybe he didn't. Eric wasn't exactly someone that would keep quiet about a nickname like that.

"You just left the apartment an hour ago," I said, smiling . Truth be told, I had missed him too. I knew it was ridiculous to actually miss him in that short of a time, but I did. The Sookie Stackhouse six months ago would be slapping the ever living shit out of me today for even having these thoughts. Hell, if I really thought about it, I wanted to smack myself for acting like a lovesick teenager, minus the "no, you hang up" moments. Hell, if we got to that point, I'd pretty much strangle myself.

"You don't think I could miss you in an hour?" he asked, leaning down to place a kiss on my lips. For a minute I forgot where we were. As silly as it sounded, Eric was able to make the world melt away from me with one movement. He broke the kiss hesitantly before whispering in my ear. "There are a lot of things we could do in an hour." He pulled back and smiled down at me. "I love that I can still make you blush Sookie. It's incredibly sexy."

"Umm hmmm," I said, biting my lip and turning my attention to the three sets of eyes that were watching us intently, one with a bit of a scowl on her face.

"Are you two finished?" Pam asked. "I'd like to get this over with so that I can leave the four of you happy in Couplesville." She said the last word with disdain as she dragged her eyes from Eric and me to Stav and Amelia.

"Isn't that nice of you Pam?" Eric asked, resting his arm behind me and idly tracing the bare skin of my shoulder. "That redhead came in looking for you about fifteen minutes ago," Eric said, turning to face Pam who was watching us with disdain. "The one from May Day?"

"Daphne? Really?" Pam's eyes glittered with delight at Eric's proclamation. She sat up straight and turned to survey the crowd of drunken revelers. "I wondered if I'd see her again. She didn't take the break-up terribly well. Can't blame her. I'd be upset if I broke up with me too. Hmm…she'd be easy pickings tonight."

"She's over there," Eric said with an incline of his head. My eyes followed Pam's and I was rewarded with a scantily clad redhead talking to none other than my brother, Jason Stackhouse.

_Dammit_. I hadn't seen him since I got back from Sweden, though he'd left me a handful of messages asking when I'd be back and that he needed to talk to me. I slunk down in the booth and attempted to hide myself from him. I wasn't ready to face him quite yet.

"Isn't that Jason, Sookie?" Amelia asked with a smile. "I haven't seen Jason since…" she trailed off. I stifled a laugh as the realization of what she was about to say crossed her face. She hadn't seen Jason since we'd visited after college and she and Jason had become quite, erm, friendly. Well, _incredibly _friendly really. Not something you'd necessarily want to share with your new husband.

"Since when Amelia?" Pam asked with a smirk. She knew the story. Hell, everyone knew that story except for Stav.

"Since right after college," Amelia replied and hiccupped. "Stav," she said, putting on her best pout, "I can't sit here anymore. Let's go dance."

"I wondered how she'd handle that one," Pam said with a smirk when they were out of earshot. "Well, no offense you two, but since we're not having this little farewell shindig at the moment, I'm going to go see if I can go hunt down a meal for tonight."

"Well, that was one hell of a party," he said once we were alone at the table full of half empty champagne glasses missing their owners.

"Short and sweet," I said with a laugh. "But I'm not going to complain." I tucked my head into his shoulder and let out a sigh when he pulled me closer. There was something liberating, yet safe about being with him like this. It was as if I knew I would always be protected, like I could face anything head on, which was exactly what I needed when my brother slid into the booth across from us.

"Well don't you two look downright cozy?" he asked, accusation in his voice.

"Hey Jase," I said, forcing myself to smile as I sat up straighter.

"Don't you 'hey Jase' me Sookie Stackhouse," he replied. "Why in the hell haven't you returned any of my calls?"

I felt Eric's arm give my shoulders a reassuring squeeze before his hand trailed down my back. Jason hadn't looked at him, hadn't even acknowledged his presence. No, he was a man on a mission, and Jason could be as pig-headed as anyone when he set about it.

"I was real busy Jase," I said. "I got back and Portia was on my butt about getting out some articles for the new magazine. You know how it gets when I have a deadline." I smiled weakly. It was true. I had spent most of the time Eric and I had been apart diving headfirst into work. Having to explain to Portia why I didn't have an article about Peter and Sophie-Anne's wedding, without letting her know that I'd almost gotten married hadn't been easy. Thank God Eric had taken me to enough places in Gotland and Stockholm to get a few stories out. She'd been thrilled with the interview Jesper had agreed to give me – an insider's look at clubs and restaurants in Stockholm. But, that meant that I had little time to talk to anyone. Plus, I hadn't been at a point where I was ready to discuss my trip to Sweden with anyone that really knew why I had gone.

"Too busy to call your own damned brother?" he scoffed, and threw back his bottle of beer. "I don't think I know you anymore Sookie Stackhouse. You go off gallivanting to Europe pretending to be engaged to him." He inclined his head towards Eric. "Hell, with what with all that I heard about the two of you, I'm not sure what to believe."

"What did you hear Jason?" Eric said, sitting up straight and focusing on Jason intently.

"Well, hello Eric," he said snidely. "Nice to see you again too." Jason turned back to face me. "Tara showed me a story on her computer about you two. Had a picture of you in a wedding dress Sook."

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Oh?" I said, trying to keep my voice calm when all I wanted to do was scream.

"What the hell Sook? I knew you were pretending to be engaged to him, but you can't even tell your own brother that you got married? Didn't think that it was important enough to have your family at your own damned wedding? God, if Gran found out it would break her heart. I thought you were more careful than that Sook."

"We didn't get married Jason," I said, letting out a sigh of relief. Okay, he hadn't told Gran. Thank God.

"Then what in the hell were you doing in a wedding dress standing at the front of some church with Eric?"

"It's a long story Jase." I reached out and covered his hand with mine.

"I reckon I've got some time Sookie."

So, I told him everything. Well, most everything. I left out the part about Andre and the Lundgrens. There was no point in getting Jason riled up over something that had already been taken care of, especially since that wasn't a box I wanted to reopen anytime soon. Hell, just what I did tell him was enough to get him going.

"Well shit," he said, sitting back in the booth. "I reckon that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. Your Daddy was going to make you get married 'cause Pam slept with his fiancée? I've gotta hand it to Pam that she does what she sets out to do, but shit…I thought Hoyt's Momma was controlling," he said, turning to look at Eric. "Your Daddy done take that cake Northman."

Eric shrugged and agreed.

"So, then why are the two of you still pretending to be together like this?" Jason asked, looking intently at Eric's hand which had crept back up to my shoulder.

Well, now was as good of a time as any I guessed. "We're not pretending anything, Jason," I said. "Eric and I are dating."

Jason took a minute to look between Eric and me before turning back to Eric. "You better not mess with my sister Northman," he warned, to which Eric agreed he wouldn't. "Hmmm, I guess I could be okay with it." He nodded. "You're better than that asshole Bill Compton." I agreed wholeheartedly, even if I didn't say it aloud. "Does that mean I get free drinks? I mean, we're practically family, right Northman?"

"Jason!" I snapped and shook my head. I supposed I shouldn't be surprised. Jason was always looking for ways to take advantage of the situation, always looking for the way that he'd benefit the most.

"I think we can work something out Stackhouse," Eric said. "You keep your mouth shut about what you saw and all your drinks will be on the house."

Jason let out a holler. "Well alrighty, thank God you finally got yourself a good one Sooks."

Though for very different reasons, I couldn't agree more.

****

The next few days were a blur. Between finishing up the final article on my Swedish series for Portia, seeing Amelia and Stav off to the airport, and Eric and I doing our best to christen every inch of my apartment, I barely could tell my head from a hole in the ground.

When I got the call from Lafayette telling me to "get my ass down to Merlotte's" for his birthday party and to "bring that fine piece of meat" I'd had with me last time, I figured it was just what we needed. A night around people that had no idea of what we had gone through, that would have no preconceived notions of Eric or who he was, beyond my new boyfriend, sounded perfect.

Eric insisted on driving. You know, boys and their toys. If I were any less secure, I might be jealous of his love of that Corvette of his. He flew down the roads, a little too fast for my taste, and we pulled into the dirt parking lot of Merlotte's less than thirty minutes from when we'd left the house.

"I love this place," he said with a smirk as he opened my door and offered me a hand.

"Why's that?" I asked. "Fond memories of my ex-boyfriends threatening you?"

"Fond memories is right," he said with a raised eyebrow, "but not what you're thinking, though I suppose I should thank him. Hell without him, I wouldn't have had you on the hood of my car that night."

"Eric Northman!" I said with a gasp, trying to muster every ounce of indignation I had in me unsuccessfully. I looked up into his laughing eyes.

"What?" he asked with a shrug. "Who knows? If he hadn't been such an asshole, you might have made me wait even longer. And just think what we'd be missing out on." He pulled me into his arms and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "You seemed pretty pleased with our situation this morning. A couple of times if I recall. But I'd be happy to give you a demonstration right here if you'd like."

"I'm sure you'd love to show me exactly how that would work, Bob Villa," I said, pushing him away from me. If I were being honest, I'd admit that that particular demonstration didn't sound like a terribly bad idea. Eric had been pestering me to let him live out his Corvette fantasy since we'd returned, and I'll admit that my resistance was weakening. Remembering what that night had been like was almost enough to make me give in. Almost.

I reached down and grabbed his hand. "Come on Northman. You behave and I'll give you a special treat later."

"Promise?" he asked with a leer, but followed along without question.

The bar was full, even for a Friday night. It was one hell of a mix of people. All of the regulars were there, just as they had been every night for as long as I could remember. They looked out of place next to the people that were there for Lafayette's birthday. It was like the casts from Flashdance and Deliverance were locked in a room together. I expected to hear the familiar banjo music to come streaming out of the jukebox and giggled at the thought of any of these people squealing like a pig.

Sam looked up from the beer he was pouring when we walked through the door, giving me a warm smile and Eric a curt nod of his head. I couldn't expect much more really, Sam never liked anyone I dated. We'd come to the understanding that we'd never be anything more than friends, but that didn't mean he liked it.

I spied a booth over in the corner and sent Eric to go claim it as I slid into an empty spot at the bar and ordered our drinks.

"You still with that one Sook?" Sam asked, inclining his head in Eric's direction as he set our drinks down on the bar in front of me. I followed his eyes and saw Eric surrounded by Lafayette and a group of his friends. Hah. If he came out of this one in one piece, he deserved every treat I could dream up.

"Yep," I said with a smile and turned back to face him. "He's a great guy Sam. Honest."

"Hrmph. Well I suppose you know better than anyone who's good for you."

"I do. He is good for me," I beamed, setting a $20 on the counter and turning around. "I better go rescue him before the hyenas eat him alive."

By the time I reached the table, Eric had Lafayette on one side and one of his friends he identified as Marcus on the other. I set the drinks down on the table and laughed when Eric looked up at me and pleaded me with his eyes to save him.

"Um hmmm," Lafayette said, never taking his eyes off my increasingly uncomfortable boyfriend. "I think you brought me the best birthday present I could've asked for. He still 'just a friend' Sook?"

"'Fraid not Lafayette," I said, shaking my head in mock disappointment.

"Didn't think that'd last, but a boy can dream," Lafayette said with a shrug. "You let me know when you're done with him, won't you?"

"Of course," I said with a giggle. "He'll be all yours if I ever decide to give him up."

"You better not ever decide to give me up Stackhouse," Eric growled when I slid into the seat Lafayette vacated and planted a kiss on Eric's cheek. "I don't think I could fend that one off on my own."

I giggled and took a sip of my drink. "It's a good thing I like you so much then Northman."

"If I remember correctly, you love me Stackhouse."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah. There's that too."

He chuckled and pulled me to his side. "There's always going to be that Sookie."

**

I sucked the last bit of gin and tonic out of my fourth drink and looked up to see Eric eying me predatorily. We'd been enjoying the sight before us, watching as Lafayette's crew took over the bar and sent the regulars skittering to the sidelines. Feeling a boost of confidence from the alcohol running through my veins, I pulled out an ice cube and swirled my tongue around it before popping it in my mouth, my eyes never leaving Eric's. I gave a triumphant smile when he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Is it hot in here Sookie?" he asked, inching closer to me and resting his hand on my leg.

"What's that?" I asked, my focus temporarily lost by the sensation of Eric's fingers running up and down my bare thigh. You'd think I would've learned by now that Eric could never be one-upped. But no, even Pavlov's dog was smarter than I was when it came to him.

I responded immediately to his touch. Even after all these weeks, even after every way he'd touched me, it was like the first time. I squirmed in my seat as his hand inched up my thigh, pushing the cotton of my sundress aside as he made a path towards the very spot that was aching for him.

"I asked it if was hot in here." He leaned down and traced his lips along my earlobe. "I'm feeling overheated."

"I guess it's a bit warm," I said as calmly as I could, considering his tongue was in my ear. I willed myself stop from going all Wicked Witch of the West and melting on the spot, reaching down to still his questing hand with my own. "You're the one wearing a sweater in July."

"Want to help me take it off?"

"Very much," I said, pulling away to lean back against the leather booth and watch him from under hooded eyes. "But not here."

"I guess I can do it on my own then," he said with a smirk as he reached down to take the bottom of his sweater in his hands.

"Eric!" I screeched. "As much as I'd like to see you without your shirt on, this is hardly the appropriate place. Hell, Lafayette might try to challenge me for you, and we all know I'm not a match for him."

"I don't know," he said, inching his sweater up. "Might be kind of fun to see you try to defend my honor." My eyes glazed over as he revealed an expanse of his tanned abs. Oh those abs. I clenched my fists in an effort to stop myself from leaning down and taking a bite out of them. He knew they were one of my weaknesses.

"Eric, stop," I commanded.

"I've got a shirt on under here lover. As much as I love teasing you, I wouldn't strip down with so many interested eyes around." He inclined his head towards two of Lafayette's friends that were eying up Eric as if he was a lake in the middle of the Sahara.

"Oh." Of course. Of course he had a shirt on. I needed to lay off the drinking. It made me paranoid.

I turned my head away as he finished pulling his sweater over his head. I couldn't trust myself to watch him. As much as I knew that I needed to behave, Bad Sookie was egging me on.

"You can look now Sookie," he said with a chuckle. "I promise I'm decent."

"It's not that," I said, turning my head back to face him. "I just…" What. The. Fuck? My eyes bulged as I took in the t-shirt he was wearing.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.

"What? This?" he asked with mock modesty. "Oh, I've had it for ages."

"Very funny Northman." I felt the flush rising up my chest. Dear God. He'd heard Amelia.

"What? I heard that's what my girlfriend calls me to her friends," he shrugged. "Seemed fitting."

"Mr. Deliciousness is right," Lafayette's distinct voice said from over my shoulder. "You advertising there Eric?"

I ignored him. "You heard Amelia that night, didn't you?"

Eric held his hands up in surrender and gave me one of those devastating smiles. Great. Just fucking great. I pushed out of the booth and stood up, looking down at him furiously.

"You waited an entire week and had a fricking _shirt _made? What? To have a laugh at me?"

"Sookie," he said, reaching out to try to grab my hand. "I thought it was funny. I thought you'd like it."

"I don't," I said with a huff, and slapped his hand away. "I don't like you trying to make a fool out of me Eric. I'm not going to sit here while you mock me."

I spun on my heel and was out the door before anyone could stop me. The warm night air hit my face the minute I stepped into the parking lot, blowing my hair gently in the breeze. I was infuriated. We had our inside jokes, but they remained just that, inside jokes. Going out of his way to make fun of me? Pretending he didn't hear? Letting me think for an entire fucking week that my secret was safe? Well he had another thing coming.

I stomped across the parking lot, throwing my hands up in the air when I reached Eric's red Corvette and realized that I had no way of getting home.

I heard his voice call my name from behind me, followed by the sound of his footsteps as he ran towards me. "Sookie, stop." He reached out and grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face him. "I'm sorry," he said, and cradled my face between his large hands to force me to look at him. "I thought you'd get a laugh out of it, hoped you'd think it was cute. I didn't think you'd get upset."

"It's humiliating."

"It's not! I thought it was charming, and damned flattering. You don't even want to know what I thought of you the day I saw you."

"No?" I asked, biting my lip to attempt to keep my resolve when my body was crying out to bring him near. "Tell me."

"It wouldn't be fit for your ears," he said with a smirk.

"I think I can handle it Northman," I said defiantly.

"I thought you were sexy," he said, leaning down to place a kiss at the edge of my lips. "And beautiful. But you knew that." A kiss on my jaw. "I wondered what you'd say if I asked you to live in my bed." He ran his lips along my earlobe, and I felt my knees go weak. Damned my resolve to stay mad at him. I swayed in place and was thankful when he picked me up and placed me on the hood of his car, echoing that day weeks ago. "Wondered if you would let me see how far down your blush went, which you did, eventually. For which I am grateful." He wedged himself between my legs, pulling me fully against the bulge in his pants. "Wondered if you'd follow through on the eye fuck you gave me." His hands ran up my back. "Wondered what you'd do if I dropped that towel."

"Oh yeah?" I asked breathlessly as he ground his hips into me.

"Yeah," he said, his voice as breathless as my own. "But you want to know what I wondered most of all?"

I nodded, unable to say anything, the sensation of his rough jeans against my thighs causing me to lose all stream of conscious thought.

"I wondered how I was lucky enough to have my door opened by someone like you, and wondered what I'd have to do to make you mine."

The culmination of everything, of all the events, of the emotions, of the weeks of frustration, the weeks of mind-blowing sex, came to a culmination. I was out of emotion, out of everything. I couldn't stay mad at him if I tried. I wanted him, no matter what he was wearing or how much he could infuriate me.

"Eric," I whimpered.

"Yes Sookie?" he asked, his lips not leaving my skin for more than a second at a time.

"As fun as this is, I think it's time to get out of here." He let out a frustrated sigh and pulled himself off of me, burying his hands in his pockets as I pulled my dress down to cover my legs. I couldn't help but laugh at his body language, the aggravation poured out of him in waves.

I jumped off the hood and grabbed his hand, forcing him to look towards me. "I didn't say we had to stop." His eyes widened. "I just know a spot that's a little better of this kind of activity. Just a little ways up the road there."

In a flash he had me in the car, and flew around to the driver's side.

"Sookie Stackhouse," he said, the engine coming to life under his fingertips. "You better be ready."

"Oh I'm ready Mr. Deliciousness," I said with a giggle as he peeled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.

And was I ever.


	2. Express Yourself

**AN:** This is for **seasonblogs**. She very generously donated funds to the Support Stacie Author Auction for me to revisit the gang from Sorry Ladies, Northman's Off the Market. If you recall, she won the last auction outtake and so was born the Mr. Deliciousness outtake. So please thank her if you wanted to see more NOM. It's all her. She asked that the gang take a trip to Mykonos, and let me run from there. There is an overabundance of Madonna love in here. I can't explain it, just enjoy it.

Per usual, the characters in this story are the creation of Charlaine Harris, with the exception of the upstanding Stav (awww Stav).

* * *

**Express Yourself**

"Oh it's so hot and deliciously humid! It's just like Louisiana!" I squealed with delight, and squeezed Eric's hand tightly.

"It is _nothing _like Louisiana," a loveable, droll voice said from behind us. We turned around and watched as Pam descended the stairs to the Northman private jet – a perk that Eric's confrontation with his father hadn't taken away. "It's fricking Greece Sookie. There are no backwater hillbillies here."

"How would you know?" Eric said with a laugh, and pulled me closer to him. Even after three months of living together, he still never seemed to tire of touching me, not that I could complain. It amazed me, even after all this time, that I was lucky enough to be dating and well, in love, with someone like Eric Northman.

"This isn't my first rodeo Eric," Pam said, rolling her eyes. "Do you seriously think that I've never been to Mykonos before?"

"I'm just saying, Pamela," I giggled as her spine stiffened at Eric's use of her full name, "that every country has their version of trash. The US has hillbillies, Sweden has the aristocratic trash you and I grew up around, God only knows what Mykonos has in store."

"Hopefully a gaggle of hot, willing women," Pam responded. "I didn't fly all the way across the ocean to watch you and Sookie make googly eyes at each other. You would think that you'd be past that stage by now."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around Eric's waist, nuzzling my head against his chest. "You're the one that pushed us together, remember Pam?" I responded, yelping when Eric's hand traveled down my back and gave my backside a squeeze.

"How could I forget?" she asked sarcastically.

"Oh, come on," I replied, reluctantly pushing out of Eric's embrace and looping my arm through Pam's. "I know you like to pretend that we make you sick. You wouldn't be Pam if you didn't. But admit it, you like the two of us together."

She shrugged. "It was rather inspired."

"I'd agree." I tossed a look over my shoulder at Eric, who was watching us with a smile on his face. "Quite brilliant really. God knows without your interference, I never would have agreed to look at your brother, much less shack up with him." Best to lay it on thick with Pam; she liked to have her ego stroked more than Kanye West.

She looked over at me and nodded, clearly delighted with herself. Good. It was like that old saying, _if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy._ At least, as long as you were around mama in this case. She'd been a bit reluctant to agree to come with us on our visit to Stav and Amelia in Mykonos. She said she didn't want to leave the club again, even though Felicia and Charles were more than competent to man the fort while Pam and Eric were away, I think there was something more to Pam's reluctance.

Before I could say anything more, a tiny, brunette bundle of vigor came bounding towards us at full speed. I could never understand where Miss Mother Earth Amelia, who didn't believe in drinking caffeine, got all of her energy. I'd never seen her tired, never been with her when she'd wanted nothing more than to throw on some sweats and watch TV – and I'd lived with her. If they could bottle it up and sell it, she'd be a millionaire. Well, aside from the fact that she already was one, and she married one on top of it.

"Sookie! Pam!" she yelled as she advanced towards us, throwing her arms around both of us in a surprisingly forceful hug. "I thought you'd never get here. I think I've been driving Stav crazy. I wanted to head to the airport this morning, in case you came in early." I looked over Amelia's shoulder and saw Stav walking towards us at a much more reasonable speed, a broad smile on his face.

"Hey Stav," I said, breaking out of Amelia's grip and hugging him. "Thank you so much for having us here."

Stav returned my hug and took a step back, sweeping his dark eyes over me. "You know we love having you. You look good Sookie. Being in love really agrees with you." I felt myself blush and shrugged. Even though I'd been telling Eric I was in love with him for the past three months, it still felt weird to have someone else say it to me. "Eric is a lucky man."

"Yes I am," Eric's deep voice said from behind me, and I felt his arms wrap around my waist. "Stav," he said, with a nod of his head. "Good to see you again."

"You too Eric, and may I say that love agrees with you too." Eric's grip tightened on my waist. If I wasn't comfortable with Stav saying it, Eric might as well have been wearing spiked underwear. It was a subject that we hadn't really broached yet. I knew he loved me, even if he'd only said it a handful of times. It didn't bother me.

"Thank you," Eric replied. Hmm, hadn't expected that response.

His arms left my body as he turned to face Amelia, who had practically pulled his arm off to get his attention.

"Eric Northman, why you're positively glowing!" she said, climbing up his body to wrap her arms around his neck. "I knew our Sookie would be good for you."

My eyes flew to Pam as she let out a loud groan, her eyebrow quirked sardonically as she took in the scene in front of her. "Isn't this just lovely?" she asked. "Please tell me we have something else planned than you two telling them how nice they look in love? Is it not bad enough that I just had to be on a plane with them for twelve hours?"

"You wouldn't have cared if the flight attendant had been a woman," Eric said with a laugh.

"Don't remind me. Please. You know I have nothing against Jonathan, but he's hardly inclined to entertain me. He did look quite disappointed he couldn't entertain you though Eric," she said with a smirk.

"We've got plenty planned," Amelia interrupted, looping her arm through Pam's and leading her away. "I think you'll find the island life quite thrilling."

**

Amelia and Stav lived in a large villa on the outskirts of Mykonos town. It was close enough to enjoy the perks of the town, yet secluded enough that they didn't have a stream of tourists passing by their house at all hours of the night. Though apparently in the summer, it was quite a different story.

Amelia had showed Pam to her room, while Stav lead Eric and me to ours, telling us to rest before dinner. It was large, even by American standards, and dominated by a large bed in the middle of the room. The blue doors opened up onto a large balcony overlooking the beach and the sea beyond, allowing a gentle breeze to pass through the room.

I flopped backwards onto the bed and shut my eyes, grateful to finally get comfortable. Despite trying just about everything, I'd found it really difficult to relax on the plane. Pam had immediately claimed the bed for our overnight flight, leaving Eric and me to fend for ourselves, much as we had on our first trip over to Stockholm. And, try as he might, I wasn't about to let Eric reenact the events on that trip. Not with Pam unoccupied, and the male flight attendant sitting only a few rows ahead of us.

The bed sunk down as Eric sat down next to me, his fingertips tracing my exposed collarbone. Despite having done just about everything with each other, his simple touch still made me lose my breath. I opened my eyes and saw him looking down at me, his own blue eyes filled with pent up desire.

"You've been driving me crazy all night," he said, his fingertips dipping lower on my chest. "This was the dress you wore when we went to Merlotte's the first time." I looked down at the white sundress I'd selected and smiled. I hadn't even realized it when I'd gotten dressed this morning. It had been shoved to the back of my closet in the move and hadn't seen the light of day since that night at Merlotte's. "When I had you splayed on the hood of my car. Remember?"

I nodded and groaned as his hand dipped further, cupping my breast through the fabric. How could I forget that night? It'd been the first time he'd touched me sober, the first time I realized that I wanted him to touch me more.

"And then sitting on that plane and remembering our flight to Stockholm," he shifted so that he was lying down, leaning half over my body as his fingers continued their magic. "I couldn't wait to get you alone again."

"Is that so?" I asked with a smirk.

"That's so."

"Care to tell me why you were so eager to be alone with me?" I teased.

"Not particularly," he said, pushing himself up and off of me. I gasped at the loss of the sensation and looked at him standing there in front of me, a wicked smirk on his face that I would have happily slapped off.

"What?" I gasped, sitting up on my elbows.

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why's that?"

"Because," he said, gripping the edge of his shirt and pulling it off of his head. "I'd much rather show you."

And he did. Twice.

***

Dinner was quiet and uneventful, and Pam, Eric and I fell into a jet-lagged sleep early, all eager to get up and explore Mykonos the next day, though I was probably more eager than the two of them combined. I'd promised Portia that I would get an article out of my trip to Mykonos. She was quite happy with the amount of travel I did with Eric – it was virtually free to the magazine, yet produced a worldly section for the magazine. I did try to maintain my focus on restaurants and chefs in the South (and had much success thanks to Alcide Herveaux and Russell Edgington), but even I couldn't pass up the opportunity to write about the culinary delights found on Mykonos.

I was up, showered and dressed by the time Eric managed to peel his eyes open. Despite many efforts, he still wasn't a morning person. I didn't normally complain. It gave me time to write without his distractions – and believe me; Eric Northman knew exactly how to distract a girl.

"Come back to bed," he said, propping himself up on his elbow and revealing his perfectly sculpted chest. The sheet dropped to his waist, reminding me exactly what he had – or didn't have – on underneath.

"We can't! We've got too much to do to spend the morning lollygagging in bed," I said firmly, though my eyes darted over his body appreciatively.

"I'm sure I could find a way to persuade you," he said, pushing the covers back and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "In fact, I can think of a couple of things that always persuade you." He stood up and walked towards me, the sunlight streaming in through the open balcony doors hitting his naked body.

"No!" I said, trying to stand firm as he leaned forward and nuzzled my neck in exactly the spot he knew I liked. "Eric," I groaned, attempting to push him away as his tongue darted out and licked my ear.

"Yes, lover?" he asked. I felt his mouth curve into a smile against my chin.

"We need to get ready."

"Fifteen more minutes." He pulled me against him, his hard length pressing against me. "Mmm, you smell like strawberries. You should have woken me up; I would have liked to shower with you."

My hands took on a mind of their own and ran down his back, stopping to rest on my favorite body part of his. "I didn't want to disturb you."

"You're disturbing me right now," he said, grinding against me to emphasize how disturbed he was. "Fifteen minutes," he repeated, and eased the straps of my sundress down. He was like fricking kryptonite. No matter how firm I was, he knew exactly what he needed to do to change my mind. I whimpered as his mouth captured mine, his hands roaming over my exposed skin, desperate to get to the parts that were unexposed.

God knows how far I would have let him take it (okay I'll be honest, I knew that I had no resistance) if the door hadn't swung open to admit Pam.

"You might want to cover your ass dear brother," she said with a laugh.

Eric frowned and shut his eyes, placing his forehead against mine, yet doing nothing to cover his nudity. That was one aspect that I hadn't yet come to understand. I didn't feel comfortable being naked anywhere but the shower and the bedroom, okay and maybe the kitchen and couch depending upon where Eric felt like taking my clothes off, but I would never walk around naked, and certainly not in front of my brother, or anyone else for that matter.

"I thought I told you to knock Pamela," he said, turning his head to look at her. I didn't dare to move, knowing that my body and the flimsy sundress I wore was all that stood between Pam and Eric's erection.

"What's the fun in that?" she asked with a laugh. "Besides, I like to see Sookie all flustered." She moved into the room and sat down on the rumpled bed. "When are you two going to be ready to go? Amelia and Stav have been up for hours."

I reached and grabbed the towel I had discarded earlier, wrapping it around Eric so that I could move and kill Pam. He smirked at my attempt at modesty, but finished wrapping it around his body as he took a step backwards.

"Fifteen minutes," Eric said with a laugh. "No, make that twenty."

"Fine," Pam said with a huff. "But I'm not leaving Sookie in here. I know exactly what you'll do in the first fifteen minutes, which will really mean that you'll be out in thirty." She stood up and clasped my hand, pulling me along with her, much to Eric's chagrin. "And get dressed for the beach."

We arrived at the beach, which was crowded for late September, thanks in part to the opening of a new club, which Amelia promised to take us to later. Eric and Pam were both excited about the evening's prospect, though for very different reasons. Eric was always keen to see the hottest clubs and take good ideas back to Ostermalm SW, Pam, meanwhile, was eager to find a lovely Greek lady. Though, who needed to go to the club when we were at a beach like this?

"You didn't tell me it was a nude beach," I seethed under my breath at Amelia.

She threw her head back and laughed. "Sookie, all the beaches are clothing optional. Loosen up a little."

At that very moment, a man who weighed more than Pam, Amelia and me together strolled by, only wearing a pair of flip flips and a smile. "That is NOT something that I need to see." Amelia's eyes darted towards the man and she smiled and shook her head.

"Sookie, the human body is beautiful, no matter what it looks like." Yeah, tell that to someone who had grown up in a Southern Christian household. "Didn't your Gran teach you that your body is a temple?"

"Yeah she did," I said, lowering my eyes. "And she told me you don't let just anyone look at your temple. Some things are for privileged viewing."

I heard Eric's deep chuckle from behind me and spun around to see that he had been listening to the entire conversation. "Don't even start with me Northman," I warned.

"What?" he asked, raising his hands in defense. "I didn't say anything."

I glinted at him and bit my tongue. In the nudity-induced panic attack that was starting in my throat, the last thing I needed was a lecture from the one man who I did let see me naked. We'd gone over it a thousand times already – he thought my views on nudity were amusing, and I thought he was an exhibitionist, though to be fair, I'd be willing to pay an entry fee for that exhibition. Maybe it was different when you looked like that.

"I will though," Pam said, piping up. I looked over and saw that she'd already immersed herself, and was not wearing her bikini top. She was slathering suntan lotion over her arms and chest, with no regard for who was watching her.

"Pam!" I squealed, covering my eyes with my hand. "You could have warned me!"

"What would you like me to have said?" she asked. "Warning Sookie! There are breasts on display! It's not like mine are any different than yours, or anyone else's here."

"Pam! That's not the point. I don't need to see _your _breasts. And I doubt your brother wants to see them either."

"Why not?" she asked. "I saw his ass this morning when he was all over you." Amelia let out a loud yelp and I looked over to see her laughing, while Stav was shaking his head at her. I'd have to deal with that later.

"That was in the privacy of our room!"

"It makes no difference, that's what you don't understand. You should be comfortable in your skin; you've got a beautiful body." At that, I dropped my hand and gaped at Pam. "You should enjoy it while it lasts, show it off a bit. If I had breasts like you," she looked at them wistfully, which earned her a growl from Eric. She chuckled and continued. "I'm just saying, you should live a little. Be like the rest of us. I mean, look at that girl right there." There was no way I was going to look. "She's absolutely perfect, a fucking work of art, displayed for the world to see." She made an appreciative groaning noise. "In fact, I may just go over there and see if she's up for some company. Much better than you lot who just play kissy-face all day. It's time for me to get in on the action as well, right?"

I shouldn't be surprised; it was Pam after all. Heck, this was her element. Tons of half naked women running around on a tropical island. It was like a fricking playground as far as she was concerned.

"Really Sookie, you need to open your mind a bit. Yes, you're American, but you don't have to be a prude. You really can't be _that _shocked, can you? I mean, in this post-Madonna world, you should be ready for whatever life throws at you."

"What in the hell does Madonna have to do with it?"

"She expressed herself darling," Pam said with a laugh and reached down to pick up her beach bag. "You need to as well. Before _Like a Virgin_, well really pre-Madonna anything, you Americans were all such prudes. I thought she loosened you up a bit. But, no point in blathering on about this. Not when there's unclaimed territory to explore." And with that, she was gone.

I turned to face Amelia as she was untying the strings around her neck. "Oh God, not you too!" I was going to kill her. And Eric. Hell, I might even kill Stav. This was not what I had signed up for. "Look, you know I'm all for going to the beach and wearing a bikini, but I don't need to see you naked."

"Fine," she said with a shrug. "I'll keep my bottoms on."

"That's hardly the point! I do not need to be faced with my best friend's breasts." Why could they not understand this? It was bad enough when it was a stranger, but there was no way I could look any of them in the eye again once I'd seen areola.

"Why? It's not like you haven't seen them before," she said, leaning back on her arms.

"What's this?" Eric piped up, sitting down and looking alertly between Amelia and me. "When did you see Amelia's boobs? Is this some kind of college experiment I haven't heard about?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"Oh hush," I snapped. "It was nothing like that." He looked at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes and groaned. "I walked in on her in the shower once."

"That's it?" Eric asked, disappointment running across his face. "I was hoping for something far more licentious. Did you join her? Maybe suds each other up a bit?" he asked with a wink. Oh, fucking hilarious. Wasn't he just the next Ricky Gervais?

"Really?" I asked, searching his face. "You'd like to think of me with another woman?"

He didn't answer fast enough.

"Am I not enough for you anymore, is that it Northman? You've got to concoct some fantasy to find me attractive?"

"Sookie," he said, an edge of warning in his voice.

"No!" I exclaimed, turning away from him. "That's fine." I knew I was being ridiculous, but cut me some slack. I'd flown across the ocean, barely gotten any sleep thanks to the man who was staring at me slack jawed, and now I was faced with being on a beach with a bunch of naked people. I hastily threw the towel I'd pulled out back into my bag and stood up. "Stav, would you please take me back to the house?"

"Erm," Stav said, looking back and forth between Eric and me.

"Sookie," Eric said again, and this time his voice a little softer. "Honey?"

"Don't you _honey _me Mister!" I barked.

"Deliciousness?"

"What?" I screeched.

"I was just finishing your sentence. Mr. Deliciousness. That is what you call me, isn't it?"

"Oh you are walking into dangerous territory, Northman," I said, snapping my eyes back to him. "Don't think you can be cute and get yourself out of this. I don't care what you try, I am mad at you."

He reached out and clasped my hand, tugging me towards him. "Lover," he practically growled. "You're being ridiculous."

"Don't tell me what I'm being," I replied.

"Relax," he said, running his thumb across my wrist. "I was joking. I'm sorry."

I shut my eyes and shook my head. He really hadn't done anything wrong. If anything, it was Amelia that I should be mad at for failing to warn me about what I was walking into. And don't get me wrong, I was.

"Come here," he tugged me a bit harder, until I fell down next to him, and wrapped me in his arms. "I know this is a culture shock. I understand, really I do. You've never been to a nude beach, right?" I shook my head. "Well, think of it this way, you can lay back and shut your eyes, and it's just the same as a non-nude beach."

I bit my lip and shrugged, resting my head on his shoulder. "Fine," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"What's that?" he asked, his lips grazing the top of my head.

"I said fine. I'll stay."

"Good," his hand trailed along the side of my sundress. "You can at least take this off."

"Alright," I replied, sitting up and pulling it over my head. "But I'm not taking my top off."

I felt the chuckled deep in his chest as he pressed against me. "That's quite alright," he said. "I'm feeling a little territorial about your breasts, and don't want to share you with anyone."

"That's quite the double standard you have there, Northman," I replied sardonically.

"Damn straight it is." His eyes roamed over my bikini-clad form and stopped at the objects in question. "I rather like having you all to myself, staking my claim in you. You're my woman, only for me to have."

"Oh, aren't you the regular Viking?"

He shrugged, and leaned forward, so close that his lips brushed against my ear. "I thought you rather liked it when I went pillaging and plundering."

I felt the blush rise in my chest and knew I was a hopeless cause. At least Amelia and Stav could chalk it up to my discomfort at being at the beach. "Eric," I warned. "This is not the time."

"No," he replied, his fingers dancing lightly across my exposed stomach and playing with the bottom of my bikini top. "It's not. I don't even have my furs with me. But I did bring along my long boat, and I'd be happy to plunder any time you'd like."

"Eric!" I squeaked, stopping his fingers from their exploration before it became indecent, though who would possibly say anything at a beach like this? I looked over at Amelia and Stav who were thankfully engaged in their own conversation and not paying attention to us anymore.

"Yes, lover?" His fingers continued their journey until they were brushing against the bare skin of the underside of my breasts.

"I swear to God if I see you staring at another woman's breasts, mine will be off limits for a week."

His eyes flew down to my bikini top, and he looked up at me like a boy who had lost his puppy. "A week?"

"Yes," I said with a nod. "An entire week. So you'd do best to keep your eyes to yourself." I stretched out on the towel beneath me and placed my hands behind my head, never breaking eye contact. "If, of course, I am enough for you."

"You know you are," he said. "I'm insatiable when it comes to you."

"Well then, we've come to an agreement."

"Fine, but I'd best not catch you looking at any men here."

I smiled up at him and shook my head. "Why would I need to look at anyone else?" I asked, my eyes raking across his bare chest. "Not when I have my very own Mr. Deliciousness."

**

* * *

AN: **Hope you all enjoyed it! Don't forget to thank **seasonblogs**!

There is a second installment of a NOM one-shot coming soon thanks to the generosity of **pfloogs72**. If you are not reading her _Life Imitating Art_, you are being silly. Go do it. Now.


	3. Meaner Girls

**AN: **This little ditty is dedicated to **pfloogs72**. It was her idea, I am just the hired help. That's right, she paid for me to write this. Hope you all enjoy it.

"You will never believe who just walked in here. Not in a million years."

I hadn't really expected a phone call from Pam tonight, and certainly not one that woke me up in the middle on the night. I rubbed my eyes, looking at the alarm clock across the room.

"Pam! It's one o'clock in the morning."

"I know it is," she said, and I could almost see her roll her eyes at me over the phone.

"Some of us have to get up in the morning," I said, looking over at the empty bed beside me. Sometimes it really sucked having a boyfriend who owned a club, and tonight was one of those times. Eric had gone in at six, hoping to be able to get out of there by midnight. Looked like that hadn't worked out.

"Yes, pity about that day job thing. I thought you were a writer and could set your own hours."

"I can," I said defiantly. "But sometimes if you want a good interview, you've got to go on their schedule. Ugh, why am I having this conversation with you now? Did you have something you needed to tell me?"

"You don't even have to work," she said, ignoring my question. "Eric has more than enough money."

"Pam!" I growled.

"Fine. Fine. Who do you think it is?"

"Who do I think what is?"

"Are you even listening? Who do you think just walked in?"

I groaned, flopping back on the pillow behind me. "I have no idea."

"Guess."

"You said I'd never guess."

"You are no fun sometimes Sookie Stackhouse."

"I'm never fun at one o'clock in the morning."

"That's not what Eric said."

"Pam!" I yelled.

"Fine. Fine." She let out an exasperated sigh. "La Lohan herself."

"What?" I screeched, sitting upright. "Lindsanity is at your club?"

"Yep, just walked in with her posse thirty minutes ago and ordered five bottles of champagne."

"Sounds like a great idea for someone on probation."

"It's such a hot mess," Pam said. "You've got to get down here."

It was tempting. Oh so tempting, but there was no way I could do it. "I can't Pam. I have to be at the airport at seven." I was flying to Charleston to cover the Food and Wine festival, and I doubted Portia would approve of me being hung-over when I arrived. And, let's face it, everyone knew I couldn't hold my liquor worth a damn.

"But," Pam whined. "It's Lindsay Lohan! When are you ever going to have this opportunity again?"

"I can't," I said resolutely. "Take a picture or something."

"Fine," she huffed.

"Is Eric coming home soon?" I asked hopefully.

"Oh, I see how it is. You don't want to see your best friend in the whole entire world, but-"

"He's my boyfriend," I said with a laugh. "Remember?"

"How could I forget?" she asked drolly. "He was on his way out when the Lohan entourage arrived. I don't think he's going to get out before closing."

I groaned and massaged my forehead. There was no way he would want to wake up to drive me to the airport. I supposed I could drive myself and leave my car there. I was only going to be gone for five days, that wouldn't be so bad.

"Okay," I said, "tell him I'll drive myself to the airport."

"What?" she asked distractedly. "Oh. Yes. Sure. I'll tell him. I've got to go Sook. Have fun in Charleston okay."

The phone went dead, and I put it down on the nightstand beside me before burrowing back among the blankets. One thing I'd learned from dating a nightclub owner was that nothing was certain.

.

The alarm blared, startling me out of a particularly lovely dream. I groaned and sat up to turn the alarm off, pushing the covers off and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I was halfway up when a pair of strong arms circled my waist and pulled me back down on the bed.

"Not so fast," the deep voice murmured in my ear.

I smiled and relaxed against his body. "Late night, eh?"

Eric groaned and buried his face in my hair. "You wouldn't believe it. I practically had to drag them out kicking and screaming at close."

"What was Lindsay Lohan doing in Shreveport anyway?"

"I have no idea," he said. His hands began massaging my stomach, traveling slowly upward as he nipped at my ear. "Why are we talking about Lindsay Lohan when we are naked and you're leaving me alone for a week?"

"I've got to get ready." I gasped when his hands cupped my breasts. "I'm not naked," I said, arching against him.

"Well I am," he said, quickly flipping me onto my back and leaning over me. "And you're about to be."

"Eric!" I giggled as he tugged at my nightgown, pulling it over my head in one fell swoop. "You're going to make me late."

"You won't be late," he insisted, leaning down and kissing my neck. "I can't send you away for a week without a proper goodbye, now can I?"

My body began to respond, despite my inner Good Sookie screaming at me to get out of bed and get in the shower. "I've got to get in the shower," I whimpered.

He paused, lifting his head up and looking down at me with an evil glint in his eye. "That is an excellent idea."

Before I knew what was happening, he had me out of the bed and half way to the bathroom.

"It'll be a much better use of time if we share," he said, setting me down in the shower and turning the water on full blast. "And it's environmentally friendly."

I gasped as the water hit me, and reached out to pull him towards me. "Well, when you put it that way."

.

My phone beeped uncontrollably the minute I hit the Tarmac and turned it back on. I had twenty texts in the time I'd been in the air, and all of them were from Pam. I scrolled through them, opening a few to get the gist. I was tired, exhausted from the five day nonstop parade Portia had scheduled for me. Yes, I got to interview chefs I had never imagined I would meet, but after all of that, all I wanted to do was curl up on the end of my couch and read a book while I waited for Eric to get home.

**You're back tonight, right?**

**Sookie, call me the minute you get this.**

And finally, **this is serious. Stop ignoring me. **

I groaned and reluctantly dialed Pam's number.

"It's about fucking time," she answered.

"Nice to talk to you too," I replied.

"I'm outside. Eric sent me to pick you up."

"Oh," I said, trying to mask my disappointment, "did he get caught up?"

"You could say that. Look, meet me outside." She hung up, leaving me talking to a dead phone. She really needed to stop doing that.

She rushed over to me, grabbing my bag and giving me a quick hello as she ushered me to her waiting car.

She didn't say anything as she pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards town. When she missed the exit to my apartment, I looked over at her skeptically.

"You missed the turn," I said.

"No, I didn't. We're not going home."

"Pam, I'm exhausted. I don't want to go anywhere."

She looked over at me and shook her head. "I don't care," she said. "You need to come to the club. There's something you need to see."

I groaned and slunk down in the seat. Pam could be unstoppable if she wanted to be. I just wished she would tell me what was so important instead of being cryptic.

"What?" I asked. "What's so important that I need to go to a club the minute I land?" I looked down at the sundress I was wearing, thankful that I'd opted to look good for Eric instead of wearing the sweatpants I had wanted to.

"Lohan is there," she said.

"Are you kidding me? You're making me go to the club to see a d list celebrity?"

She shook her head, giving me a disapproving look. "She's been there every night since you left."

"And...?" I didn't see why that mattered.

"And, she's been chasing after Eric." Well that certainly shut me up. It wasn't every day you heard your boyfriend was being pursued by a washed up child actress.

"It's gotten ridiculous," Pam continued. "She comes in every night with her entourage and won't leave him alone."

I squirmed in my chair, hoping I knew the answer to my next question. "What does Eric do about it?"

She laughed, looking over at me. "He tries to avoid it, but the club has gotten so much press and exposure out of it that he can't be outright rude to her. I offered to do it for him though."

I could imagine Eric's dilemma. It wasn't every day celebrities were in Shreveport, and the exposure certainly wouldn't hurt business.

"I bet you did," I said. "What is she doing in Shreveport anyway?"

"Oh, that's the best part! She's filming a movie. Trying to get back to her glory days it appears. It's the sequel to Mean Girls."

"Sequel?"

"Yeah, it's going to be a train wreck. No one else from the original is going to be in it. It's Lindsay, Rumer Willis, Brooke Hogan and that Audrina chick from The Hills. They're all at Ostermalm SW too. Well, all except for Rumer. She's apparently decided to study Kabbalah with Ashton and Demi and never goes out."

"My," I said. "Sounds like a bad episode of Celebrity Rehab."

Pam laughed, turning onto Market Street. "I knew you'd appreciate it."

"I do, but I still don't understand why I need to be here."

She pulled into her parking space and looked over at me. "Like I said, she won't leave him alone. I figure with you here, she might let up a bit, since you're his girlfriend."

"Yeah, cause that worked out so well for Amanda Seyfried."

"Oh, right. Well it's worth a shot," Pam said cheerfully, stepping out of the car. "And you know Eric will be happy to see you. Besides, when are you ever going to see so many shitty celebrities in one place?"

.

The line was around the block, all of Shreveport's citizens apparently eager to have their brush with celebrity. I couldn't blame them, if the Queen of the D List wasn't trying to get into my boyfriends pants, then I'd probably be right there with them.

Pam breezed by the line, giving the doorman a quick kiss hello before ushering me inside. I hadn't seen so many people here since the May Day shindig last year, not to say that it had been empty, far from it actually.

Pam grabbed onto my hand and dragged me through the crowd. I spotted some familiar faces along the way - Russell Edgington sitting at his usual table, surrounded by the Zoolander outcasts; Alcide out on the dance floor with some tall blonde; and even my darling brother Jason hunched over a particularly vapid looking brunette.

"Wait, is that Jason with-"

"Audrina? Why yes, yes it is. He's been here with her for a couple of nights now. It's like throwing two kinds of stupid together and hoping they stick."

I guffawed at the observation. I supposed as his sister I should try to defend him, but Pam knew as well as I did that Jason didn't use any of the brains God had given him.

"I don't see...oh!" I exclaimed as Pam stepped to the side to reveal Eric sitting at the bar with a very identifiable red head. Eric sat stiffly at his stool, brushing Lindsay's arm off of his shoulder as she whispered something in his ear. He looked miserable.

My blood boiled as I watched her put the moves in my boyfriend. I knew I had nothing to worry about, but this was the last thing I wanted to deal with right now.

"See what I mean?" Pam asked, inclining her head towards them. "She's like that all the time."

I stood back and took in every inch of her, from the top of her Ginger hair, past the leotard she thought was in high fashion down to the black band around her ankle. I had to laugh at Eric's expression as she ran her hand down the length of his thigh. It was clear that he wanted no part of it.

I smiled at Pam and slowly made my way over to them. Eric had yet to spot me, and I took the opportunity to eavesdrop on their conversations.

"Eric," Lindsay said huskily, sending a chill down my spine, "have you ever been with twins?"

"What?" he asked, shaking his head.

"Twins," she repeated. "Look a likes?" she asked, this time in a British accent. "Because I played twins once, and I can be very convincing as two people. You could climb into bed with Hallie and wake up with Annie. How does that sound?"

I chuckled as images of eleven year old Lindsay circa Parent Trap days came to mind. Good lord, she was stupid. This would be easy.

I cleared my throat loudly, and got the desired result. Eric and Lindsay turned to face me. The look of shock on Eric's face almost made me giggle, but I had a point to prove to fire crotch over there.

"What?" Lindsay barked, clearly upset that I'd interrupted her play time. "Do you want an autograph or something?"

"Sookie!" Eric exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and knocking Lindsay off her chair. "I didn't realize Pam was going to bring you here,"

"Who is this?" Lindsay demanded, setting herself upright on here chair and crossing her legs.

Eric rolled his eyes at me and mouthed an apology before turning back to Lindsay. "This is my girlfriend," he said. "Sookie."

"Pleasure to meet you," I said, extending my hand and stifling a giggle when she look at it and looked away. "I thought I would surprise you honey," I said, turning back to Eric. He quirked his eyebrow at my term of endearment and shrugged.

"What a great surprise," he said, tucking me under his arm and kissing the top of my head. "Lindsay here was just telling me about some of the movies she was in."

"So I surmised," I said, squeezing his waist. "I just loved you in that movie," I said, laying the Southern charm and accent on thick. "You were so cute as those two twins. Hallie and Annie, right?"

I chuckled at the sudden tightness of Eric's grip as realization dawned on him.

"Yeah, whatever," Lindsay said dismissively. "Look, I've got to go Eric. My mom keeps texting me, wanting to know if Ali can come in. I can't believe you're being such a dick about that by the way."

"She's fifteen!" Eric exclaimed.

"Yeah, so? She always gets in when I'm in LA."

"Maybe you should go back to LA," I suggested, giving her one of my famously crazy smiles.

She dismissed me with one look and turned back to Eric, eyeing him appreciatively. "You know where to find me," she said, hopping off her stool and walking away.

Eric let out a sigh of relief, and turned to face me, looking down at me with a smile. "Thank God, I thought she'd never leave me alone."

"Oh you poor thing," I said. "Being hit on by a celebrity."

He groaned and pulled me to him. "You are the only person I want grabbing my ass, Sookie."

I laughed, shaking my head. "She grabbed your ass?"

He nodded solemnly. "She would have gladly grabbed more if I would have let her."

"I can only imagine," I said, patting his back, my hand trailing down until I got a handful of the ass in question. "My ass," I said, leaning up to kiss him.

What I had intended to be a quick kiss turned into something else when his mouth took possession of mine. In no time, he had me grasping at his t-shirt, completely breathless.

"Let's go," he said, tearing his mouth from mine and resting his forehead against mine. "Five days is too long."

I nodded, unable to say anything. "Let me just run to the back and finish up my report. Fifteen minutes, tops. Want to come back with me?" He waggled his eyebrows.

I shook my head. "No. I want to get home at a reasonable hour, and we both know that wouldn't happen. I'll go find Pam. Come get me when you're ready."

He nodded and reluctantly let me go, brushing a kiss against my temple. "It's good to have you back Stackhouse."

"It's good to be back Northman."

Pam, not surprisingly was nowhere to be found, which more than likely meant she was hitting on one of the better endowed patrons. After circling the club twice, I gave up my search and was halfway to the bathroom when I was abruptly stopped.

"Sookie!" I stopped, turning at the sound of the familiar voice and groaning when I saw its company.

"Hey Jason," I said, stepping close to the booth he occupied with what appeared to be the entire cast of the Mean Girls sequel and, surprisingly Alcide Herveaux. Great. Just great. "Hey Alcide," I said, nodding to him. The mystery blonde he'd been dancing with turned out to be Brooke Hogan. I hadn't figured him for the type, but you just never knew.

"Ugh," a husky voice said. "You know this bitch too?"

I turned and glared at the diminutive red head who was the cause of my problems.

"Don't you call my sister names," Jason snapped. "Just cause you think you're all famous cause you're gonna be in a movie about a porn star-"

"She doesn't mean it like that," Audrina said, twirling her hair around her fingers. "Everyone calls each other bitch in LA. It's like a term of endearment. Heidi calls me a bitch all the time." She giggled, blinking rapidly.

Yeah, I doubted old fire crotch meant it that way.

"Oh," Jason said, nodding to himself. "You LA girls sure are different." His eyes dropped down to her overly perky (and slightly wonky) breasts. "But I like you… bitch."

She giggled, and swatted him playfully on the arm before leaning in and devouring his mouth like a praying mantis. Hmm, one Mean Girl down, two to go.

"Yeah, like, who is this?" Brooke asked, turning towards Alcide. "And how do you know her?

"Sookie's Eric's girlfriend," he said, a tinge of resentment in his voice. He still hadn't fully gotten over the fact that I'd picked Eric over him. It wasn't as if there ever really was a competition, and if there was, well obviously Eric won.

"Oh. Eric?" Brooke asked, her eyes widening. "That's the guy Linds likes, right? The big Viking looking one?"

Alcide chuckled and nodded. "That's the one."

"Linds is not going to like that," she said, shaking her head. "Not one bit."

"Uh, hello," Lindsay barked, leaning forward. "I'm right here. God."

"Oh," Brooke said. "I forgot." She giggled and turned towards Alcide, pulling his face to meet hers.

Two down.

Now only the Queen Bee to topple. Oh sure, I knew that it wasn't worth my time or effort, but I didn't take too kindly to being called a bitch, especially by someone like Lindsay Lohan.

"What's your problem?" she asked, shaking her head like she was a parody on _In Living Color._

"My problem?" I asked, clenching my teeth together. "My problem is that apparently you've been trying to get on my boyfriend while I've been out of town, and I don't take too kindly to that."

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes and flicking a cascade of hair (extensions, natch) over her shoulder. "He, like, so came on to me."

I laughed. "I doubt that. He's not too keen on drunks."

"I am not drunk!" she screeched. "I am drug and alcohol free. See?" She lifted her leg high in the air, the one without the bracelet. "Oh, I mean… see?" She lifted the right one. "It's green, which means I'm clear."

"Whatever. Look, let's just leave well enough alone. You stay away from Eric, and there won't be any problems."

She threw her head back and laughed throatily. "As if you could bring me problems. I'll have you know I dated Wilmer Valderrama. Not just anyone can do that." When I didn't respond, she continued. "Who are we kidding? You are like twice the size of me. Who knew Eric had a thing for heifers?"

That was it. I was tired and hungry and all I wanted to do was go home with my boyfriend. But that clearly wasn't happening soon, and the little gnat buzzing in front of me was going to receive the brunt end of it.

"Listen Leotard," I said, stepping closer. "I don't know where you're from, or who in the hell was stupid enough to raise you the way you are, but 'round these parts, you do not come in and throw insults at people you've just met. Now, if you would take your skank whore chic self out of here, things'll be all right."

She pushed up from the table and stood in front of me. "Ugh. I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular."

I laughed and shook my head. "Yeah, popular."

She frowned and turned back to the table, to a woman (man?) I hadn't seen sitting there before, they were so tiny and inconsequential.

"Sam!" she barked. "It's time that I showed this little Southern hick what I'm about. Go."

The androgynous person jumped up and ran out of sight before I could make out any further details. "What?" I asked. "What's going on?"

"You'll see," Lindsay said, turning on her heel and making her way to the dance floor. And then, just like in the movies, the music stopped and the red-head took center stage. The crowded dance floor cleared for her as she threw off her coat and stood there in her hot pink leotard and leggings, looking for all the world like she was ready to Jazzercise.

She walked in a circle before striking a pose, one arm pointed in the air, and then the music started.

_Ah, push it_

_Ah, push it_

And that's when she started gyrating, staring me down as she pointed at her fire crotch and mouthing "get up on this."

I pinched myself, wondering what in the hell I'd walked into. There was no way this was real. It had to be a dream.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," a droll voice said at my side. I turned to see Pam with a Cheshire grin on her face as she watched what was unfolding on the dance floor. I turned my attention back to watch Lindsay thrust and dip, wink and wiggle her way across the floor.

"What is going on?" I asked incredulously. "Who changed the song?"

"That'd be Sam." I looked at her blankly. "Ronson. You know, the girl Lindsay used to fuck?"

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed, looking at the DJ booth. No wonder they'd looked familiar.

"This is priceless," Pam said, taking out her phone and furiously texting someone. "God, if word of this gets out, we'll be famous!"

"Word of what?" I asked as the music died down and the lights blinked. "What's going on?"

"Remember that dance we spent so much time learning when we graduated?" The distinctive sounds of a horn came blaring across the speakers.

"What? Oh no," I shook my head. "No way. I am not going to…"

"Have a dance off with Lindsay Lohan?" Pam smirked. "I think it's a little too late for that." And with one quick shove, I was standing in the middle of the dance floor with a million eyes on me as will. asked me what I was going to do with all that junk that was in my trunk.

I groaned and shook my head at Pam, who in turn laughed and nodded. "Give it to her Sookie!" she called out, followed by cheers from the crowd around me. "Show her Sook!" my brother called out, finally up for some air from his make out session.

_In for a penny,_ I said to myself, shaking my head and then showing everyone exactly what I was going to do with all that ass inside my jeans. Not that I was wearing jeans. _Shit, what was I doing? _

I closed my eyes and went for it, doing the moves we'd drunkenly learned one night. I had always liked dancing, though not quite as publically as this. But, it appeared I was a bit of an attention whore, for the louder the crowd cheered, the more into I got. And all this without a sip of alcohol.

I caught Lindsay watching me from the corner of my eye, her jaw nearly on the floor as I got everyone drunk off my humps, and laughed with glee when she turned on her heel and stomped away from the dance floor.

As soon as the song was over I felt a pair of large hands grab me around the waist. I turned and gasped when I saw Eric looking down at me, his eyes full of laughter.

"What in the hell was that?" he asked, dragging me off the dance floor.

"Uh…" I said, suddenly blushing with embarrassment. I didn't think Eric would see that. I had hoped that he wouldn't.

"That," Pam said, popping up next to us, "was your girlfriend showing the pain in your ass that the South did not, in fact, lose the war."

I buried my face in my hands, wishing to be anywhere but where I was. The enormity of the situation weighing down on me. I reached out and grabbed a drink off a passing tray, not particularly caring what it was. Bad choice. I nearly choked as I shot down what appeared to be straight scotch.

I turned back to face Eric and Pam, both of whom were in hysterics. "Very funny," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "All I wanted to do was go home and curl up on the couch, and because of you two," I glared, "I ended up dancing like a fool in front of just about everyone I know."

"Yes," Eric said, with mock solemnity, "but you danced like a sexy fool. In fact, I had a question to ask you."

I groaned. "What?"

"Would you care to mix your milk with my cocoa puffs?" I smacked his arm, not that he noticed in his fit of laughter. "I hate you. Both of you."

"What happened?" my brother's confused voice asked from behind me. I turned around, thankful for the interruption.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he said, crossing his arms. "One minute I was ass deep in that Audrina chick's boobs, and the next that fiery little redhead comes along and orders everyone out."

"You got her to leave?" Pam asked from behind me. "Oh Sookie, thank God for you! I knew you'd do it."

"I'm still mad at you," I said, turning back to face her. "And you too, Mister." I glared at Eric.

"Aw, Sookie," Eric said, stepping forward and wrapping his arm around me. "Don't be mad. You're just returning the favor."

I glared up at him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well," he said, leaning down to whisper in my ear. "I rescued you once, and now you've rescued me."

The meaning of his words jolted through me, memories of the night I'd asked – nay, begged – him to rescue me flashing across my mind. As mad as I wanted to be at him, I knew there was no way I could stick it out. It was Eric; my Eric. And I had missed him too much to let the star of an ABC Family movie come between us.

"Well," I said, with a sigh as I leaned into Eric. "I guess it was kind of funny."

"It was fucking hilarious," Pam said. "I couldn't have dreamed a better scenario. Lindsay Lohan, half drunk, completely crazy and in a leotard having a dance off with my best friend! It's everything Lindsay and more."

Eric leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "I'm just glad she left without any major damage."

"Me too," I said, with a nod. "Are you ready to go, Eric?"

"Absolutely," he responded, letting go of me and grabbing my hand. "Pam, you can take it from here."

"Yeah," she said. "Sure. Wait a minute…"

"What?"

"Has anyone seen my fur coat?"

I laughed, shaking my head. It looked like we were both struck by a little Lindsanity.


	4. One Year Later

**AN:** So, many, many months ago when pfloogs72 and seasonblogs so generously bid on me in the Support Stacie auction, I agreed to write NOM outtakes for both of them.

In conversations with Ms. Pfloogs72, we had a good chuckle about a dance-off with Lindsay Lohan, and that's how the Lindsanity outtake was born; however, this is the _real_ outtake that pfloogs72 won. Hope you enjoy it.

**EPOV**

I eased my car into its designated spot, right next to Sookie's new Altima and our downstairs neighbor's BMW. It had been the same spot that I had been parking my car in for the past ten months since I made the three block move from the house I shared with Pam to the apartment I shared with Sookie.

I had never lived with a girlfriend before; never had a girlfriend I cared to live with before Sookie. There was something that was just so right, so ideal about our relationship. It hadn't even been a month after our return from Stockholm and the subsequent rekindling of our relationship before I was ready to make the move. We spent nearly every night together anyway, and most of them at the apartment since Pam always did her best to keep up her Guinness Book of World Records record for bringing the most dumb club girls home with her and keeping them up screaming until all hours of the morning.

Sookie had been a bit more reluctant about living together, though I was able to wear her down pretty quickly. I can't lie and say I didn't use Pam's nightly proclivities as part of my argument. After Sookie was exposed to the noise three nights, she'd insisted that we stay exclusively at her place, and it was only a few weeks after that that she'd succumbed to the argument that I should move in permanently.

I climbed out of the low seat of my Corvette, patting the cherry red roof with tender care as I turned on the alarm system. There were few things that I'd apply the word "love" to in this world, and the Corvette was one of them. The other was sitting on the couch typing away on her laptop when I unlocked the door to our apartment.

"Hey there," she said, setting the computer on the empty cushion next to her and unfurling her legs from beneath her as she stood up to greet me. She was dressed for bed, wearing a pair of tiny shorts and a tank top, both of which I had plenty of experience removing from her.

I crossed the room in six long strides and pulled her to me. You would think after dating for a little under a year, and living together for ten months that the intensity would have died out a little bit. It hadn't. I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers, feeling them curve against mine with a smile.

"You're home early," she said, pulling back far enough to look me in the eye. I had managed to get out of Ostermalm at eleven, a good three hours earlier than I had the last week. The club had become even more popular after our celebrity run-in, not that I was complaining. More people meant more drinks, and more drinks meant more money. True, it wasn't as if Pam or I needed the money, but it felt good to have created my own success without the help of my father.

"What can I say?" I asked, picking her up. "I couldn't wait to get back to you after that send off you gave me this afternoon."

She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck. "It was rather magnificent wasn't it?"

"It's _always_ magnificent," I growled, tightening my arms around her and walking purposefully towards the bedroom.

Her mouth latched onto my ear, doing things that should be illegal for as good as they made me feel. We were within two feet of the bed when she pulled back and wiggled out of my arms, placing a good foot of distance between us.

Her lips were plump, a flush covered her entire body and her breathing was ragged at best. I knew she was as turned on as I was. "Are you packed?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"What?" I asked, reaching out to grab her only to have her slap my hands away.

"Are you packed?" she asked again. "Our flight leaves at seven, and I haven't even seen your suitcase."

I groaned and sat down on the bed behind me. "Do we really have to do this now? I can think of _much_ better things to do." I reached out and ghosted my hand down the back of her bare thigh, grinning when I felt her quiver under my fingers.

"Don't you dare try to seduce me now Eric Northman," she commanded. "You know it drives me crazy when you wait until the last minute."

"It always works out Sook," I grinned, wrapping my hand around her thigh and pulling her towards me until she was standing between my knees. "You know it does."

"Eric," she sighed, resting her hands on my shoulders and leaving two of my favorite objects at eye level. It didn't look like she was wearing a bra. One quick movement and I could see for myself. I reached out and caught the hem of her shirt, raising it up slowly only to have her push it down.

"Sookie," I groaned, my fingers dancing lightly on the skin of stomach.

"No," she insisted, though she didn't make a move to step away from me.

"Why not?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow and easing my hands up under her shirt. So she didn't want to take it off, that didn't mean I couldn't do the Lewis and Clark bit underneath her clothes. She sighed as my fingers climbed up her ribcage, whispering my name as they brushed the underside of her very naked breasts. A few more seconds and I would have made her forget any protests she may have formed in her mind; but they were a few more seconds I didn't have.

"Nuh uh," she said, stepping away from me and leaving my hands hanging empty in midair. "You're not a morning person to begin with, and we both know that you're dead on your feet as it is. We can't be late tomorrow. Portia would kill me if I missed the connecting flight."

We were headed to Aspen for Sookie to cover the annual Food and Wine Classic. It was the first time that I was going with her on one of her work trips. She had been traveling a lot for work lately – too much if you ask me. For the past six months, her boss Portia seemed to have a fondness of sending Sookie around the country on a whim to cover this or that. I couldn't even remember the last time she'd been home for more than two weeks at a time. And, yes I knew it sounded like something out of one of those ridiculous romantic comedies that Sookie insisted on watching all the time, but I didn't like when she wasn't here. The apartment felt empty, and I was man enough to admit that I missed her when she was gone.

"I still don't see why the _east_ coast editor is covering something Aspen," I said, leaning back on my arms and surveying her.

"Do we really have to get into this again?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and bringing my attention straight back to what I had been so close to holding only a few seconds ago.

I shrugged, trying to stifle the smile that threatened to spread across my face. I kind of liked when Sookie was frustrated with me; it reminded me of those first few weeks when we were together – of the way I could fluster her and make her blush in an instant. Not that that particular ability had diminished entirely, but it was a lot harder to get a rise out of her when she was naked and in my bed every night; or at least almost every night.

"Because my boss told me too. You know how Portia can be." I hadn't had the fortune to meet Portia, but I imagined she was a real ball buster from the stories Sookie told me. "Besides, it's summer. It's always busier in the summer."

"You weren't traveling last summer," I said. "Or, not for work at least," I added with a smile as I recalled our trip to Stockholm.

"That was different. Besides, technically the trip to Sweden was for work," she pointed out. "Portia was over the moon at the prospect of me covering your father's wedding to Sophie-Anne. True European Aristocracy and all that. She was gaga for thoughts of Disney meets Princess Diana with a flair for the Swedish. And boy was she pissed when that didn't happen, no matter the circumstances that unfolded. So, unless you can plan something else like that, I'm afraid I am going to have to do what she tells me."

"I'm sure we can figure something out," I said, standing up and closing the distance between us. "I have lots of friends that have titles."

"Before tomorrow morning?" she smirked, turning around and walking over to the closet where my suitcase was stored. She pulled it out and unceremoniously dumped it on the bed. "Besides, I thought you were excited to go to Aspen with me."

"I am," I insisted, looking at the small suitcase on the bed. "But you're going to be working the entire time."

"Not the entire time," she said, shaking her head and pointing towards my closet. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve for you Northman."

"Like what?" I asked.

"It's a surprise," she insisted. "Something you won't know about until we get there. And we'll never ever get there if you don't start packing. I'm going to go finish up my blog." She began to walk backwards towards the open door that led to the living room. "Come get me when you're done."

It would take me approximately five minutes to fill it with what I needed; part of the glory of being a man was the ability to pack quickly. And, the quicker I packed, the quicker I could get her out of that darned shirt. You would have thought I would have figured that out earlier, but my head wasn't exactly on straight when it came to Sookie Stackhouse.

Seven minutes later (I had a hard time finding my favorite blue shirt) and I was standing in the doorway, watching Sookie as she read something on her computer screen. She had her lower lip caught between her teeth, something she did any time she was mulling something over.

"I'm done," I said, leaning against the doorjamb. Her eyes flew up to meet mine and she smiled.

"See? That wasn't painful, was it?"

I shrugged and remained standing there; there was a certain part of my body was screaming to disagree with her.

She closed her laptop, setting it on the coffee table in front of her before standing up to face me. "Waiting ten minutes was painful?" she asked, raising her eyebrow sardonically.

"Waiting ten seconds for you is painful," I said, holding my breath as she advanced towards me.

"Is that so?" she asked, stopping close enough to me that the cotton of her shirt brushed against my now bare chest.

"Mmm hmm," I nodded.

"Hmm," she said, reaching up and running her fingers down my chest. "Well, we'll have to do something about that now, won't we?"

I groaned when she pulled her hands away from me, my body straining forward for her touch. "Like what?" I asked.

"Like this," she said, reaching down and whipping her shirt off in one fell swoop. She pulled my head down and devoured my mouth with her own, pressing her body against mine.

We were all hands and mouths as we stumbled into the bedroom behind me, tripping over the last bits of clothing as we fell onto the bed with each other. The pillows she'd filled the bed with fell to the floor as we rolled over one another, clasping at every inch of exposed skin.

There were no words exchanged, no noises in the room except the brush of sheets beneath us and the occasional grunt that emitted from our mouths. Her need mirrored my own, her movements matching mine in intensity as we consumed one another. Only when we were both sated, our skin slick from the exertion, did she break the silence.

"Do you think," she started, snuggling into the crook of my arm. "Do you think that it will ever get old between us?"

I brushed my lips across the top of her head, running my hand down her side until it rested on the curve of her hip. "No. Not with us. Never with you."

…

I insisted on driving the rental car from the airport up the windy roads that led to the house we would be staying at over the next four days. Sookie, while a perfectly accomplished driver, didn't find any thrill in taking a car out for a spin, and undoubtedly wouldn't appreciate the combination of Range Rover and mountain roads as much as I did.

"Where is Copley again?" I asked, turning up the long drive that led to our destination.

"He's visiting Stav and Amelia in London." Stav and Amelia had finally settled down, at least for the time being, in London where Stav was able to continue his work for his father's business.

"And you're sure he's going to be gone the entire time we're here?" I asked skeptically. I didn't think it was very likely that he'd return unannounced, but then again I didn't want to be surprised while I was in the middle of ravishing Sookie in front of some massive fire place that I hoped to find.

Sookie giggled and nodded. "Positive."

"Good," I said, pulling the car to a stop in front of the impressive structure. Secluded from the neighbors by the surrounding trees, the entire north wall of the house looked like a single sheet of glass. The great room was visible from the driveway, with just the kind of fireplace I had hoped would be there.

Sookie pulled the key from her purse – an extra Copley had given to her when she'd last seen him – and proceeded to give me a tour. As massive as the house looked from the outside, it was even larger on the inside, and there were plenty of surfaces that were inviting me to christen them. Sookie left me to wander about by myself as she unpacked in the room she had always stayed in while visiting Copley with Amelia. I was in the middle of an internal debate on which room we should start in when she came around the corner with dripping wet hair.

"Did you shower?" I asked. She nodded and sat down on a chair as she began to brush the knots out of her long hair. "Without me?" I continued, trying not to sound as disappointed as I felt. I'd seen the inside of the en suite bathroom, and had immediately made plans for our first shower together.

"I can shower by myself occasionally," she said. "Besides, Portia is expecting me soon. I didn't want to be distracted and be late. Portia's a real stickler for being on time."

"Am I that much of a distraction?" I grinned, pulling my shirt over my head.

I heard her groan when I was in mid motion and chuckled to myself. "You know you are. Stop taunting me Northman," she said, turning herself so that she wasn't facing me. "And go get ready."

I contemplated pushing the issued, but decided against it when I saw the time on the clock on the wall. We had to be at the tents by one-thirty, and twenty minutes simply wasn't enough time to accomplish what I had in mind.

…

I had been to Aspen before - it had been one of my favorite stomping grounds when I would come to visit Pam and my Mom in the states during college – but I had never been during the summer. Instead of white covering everything, the only white spots were the food tents that peaked in miniature imitation of the green mountains behind them.

"You ready to meet the beast?" Sookie asked, taking my hand in hers as we walked under the fabric awning of the event.

I chuckled and nodded; Portia Bellefleur wasn't likely to intimidate me, no matter how much she was able to do it to Sookie. I was used to dealing with people from all walks of life; hell, I'd dealt with my father for my entire life. I was sure that Portia would be a piece of cake.

"She's not that easy," Sookie said, tightening her grip on my hand. "She can be rather…demanding," she said after a pause where she was clearly contemplating her word choice.

"Sookie," I said, leaning down to her ear and lowering my voice, "I'm living with you. I know what demanding means."

She laughed, and playfully slapped me on my arm, shaking her head at me. "What am I going to do with you Northman?"

"I have a few things in mind," I said, waggling my eyebrows down at her. She opened her mouth to respond, but no words ever came out since a high pitched "Sookie!" sounded from behind me. I tried not to laugh as her face contorted into anguish before she put on her patented Sookie smile.

Letting go of my hand, she stepped around me and said, "Hello Portia."

I spun around and saw a woman advancing quickly upon us. I wasn't sure exactly what to expect of Portia; from the way Sookie described her I wouldn't have been surprised if she came with an entourage of flying monkeys. What I did see in front of me wasn't the type of woman who would strike fear in many, much less the woman who had stood up to my father before I had the balls to. Portia Bellfleur was rather non-descript. Her shoulder length brown hair blended into the crowd around her, her average height and slightly blocky build nothing that one would remember. The first thing I noticed about her was the way her mouth and jaw were set in a determined frown.

"It's about time you got here," she said, looking at her watch impatiently.

"Portia," Sookie started. I could hear the irritation in her voice. "You said to be here at one-thirty. It is only one-fifteen."

"I've been here for an hour," Portia replied. "One can never be too prepared."

"My first interview is at two," Sookie said, the patience straining in her voice.

"You never know who you will run into Sookie," Portia scolded.

"I'm going to be here all day tomorrow too. I'm sure I can bump into people then."

Portia sighed and shook her head at Sookie, then in an almost comical moment turned her attention to me. Her demeanor immediately changed from disapproving to shocked, and from shocked to girlish. She went from Joan Crawford to Miley Cyrus in the blink of an eye.

"Hello there," she said coyly, the rigid frown softening slightly.

"Hello," I responded with a smirk.

"I'm sorry you had to overhear that. Dedicated employees are so difficult to find these days," she added flirtatiously, flicking her eyes in Sookie's direction.

"Mmm," I said noncommittally. She clearly had no clue who I was, which only served to further amuse me. I glanced at Sookie who looked like steam was about ready to pour out of her ears and smiled in her direction.

"I'm Portia Bellefleur," she said, extending her hand. "Editor in Chief for _Palate Magazine._"

I looked at her hand for a moment before taking it in mine. "Eric Northman. Boyfriend to your difficult employee." I was enjoying myself far more than I should have, but I felt a smug satisfaction at the look of surprise that crossed her face when she realized who I was.

I heard Sookie groan, but didn't take my eyes off Portia's startled face.

"Oh," she said, looking deliciously panicked, "Mr. Northman. I…I…"

"I've been looking forward to meeting the woman that keeps Sookie so occupied," I interrupted.

"Yes," she said, looking over at Sookie with a beauty pageant-bright smile, "guilty as charged. I, uh, wasn't aware that you would be coming with Sookie."

Now it was my turn to be surprised. I looked over at Sookie, who gave me an innocent shrug. Innocent my ass. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she watched the interaction between us.

"Last minute change of plans," I improvised. "I'm terribly sorry if it's an inconvenience."

"Not at all!" Portia beamed, looking back at me. "Of course you are always welcome at all of our events, not only as Sookie's boyfriend of course, but as an insider of the culinary world."

"I wouldn't say insider exactly," I shrugged, taking Sookie's hand in my own.

"Don't sell yourself short Mr. Northman-"

"Eric," I insisted.

"Eric," she said with a blush. Funny, it wasn't nearly as attractive on her as it was on my girlfriend. "As I was saying, you're very well connected in our world."

"I do know some people, I suppose. But Sookie here is really the one who has the connections."

She mumbled something under her breath as I tugged her forward to stand next to me, but offered Portia a bright smile.

Portia's eyes darted between Sookie and me, resting finally on me. "Sookie is a gem, isn't she?"

I stifled the chuckle that rose in my throat at Portia's about face and nodded. "I certainly think so."

"Yes," Portia said with a nod, "well, as I was saying. Sookie, I spoke with Chef Rasul's assistant and he will be waiting for you in the tent at 1:45. He had to move the interview up. Apparently," she added, leaning in confidentially, "his boyfriend is in town and wants him to leave early."

"Boyfriends can be demanding like that," I said with a smirk, covering the grunt I made when Sookie elbowed me in the ribs with a cough.

"Mmm," Portia said, looking over her shoulder. "Be that as it may, it's a good thing you got here early. Eric, do you mind if I drag Sookie away from you for awhile?"

"Not at all," I responded. "She's very dedicated to what she does. I wouldn't dream of pulling her away," I added, sounding saccharine to myself, not that Portia noticed.

"I'll call you when I'm done," Sookie called over her shoulder as Portia led her away.

When she disappeared into the crowd, I sauntered into the nearest tent and smiled to myself when I reaped the benefits of having a girlfriend that was so well connected.

…

Sookie completed her last interview for the evening as the sun began to lower over the green mountains around us, leaving the remainder of the evening for the enjoyment of the event and each other. As fascinating as it was to watch Sookie work – and it was fascinating – I wanted nothing more than to have her to myself for the remainder of the night.

I knew almost instantly when Sookie had the glass of wine that finally relaxed her; the muscles in her neck that had been sitting so tensely for the last four hours relaxed, and her first genuine smile of the night crossed her face.

"I love Aspen," she said, with a wistful sigh as we watched the crowds filter out before us. "The first time Amelia brought me up here I was so caught up in how to act that I didn't have fun; but being here with you," she smiled, "I can be myself and just relax and enjoy it."

I felt a lump form in my throat; it was the same lump that formed every time she said she loved me. You would think after hearing it for twelve months that it wouldn't mean as much as it had the first time, but it did. I hadn't expected to fall in love; hadn't wanted to even, but that was before I'd met Sookie and we began down the fateful path that had led us to this moment.

"You're good for me Eric Northman," she said with a sigh, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest.

"You're good for me too Sookie," I replied, reaching down to tip her chin up and brush my lips across hers. The minute I inhaled her scent, the kiss went from brief to consuming. I didn't care that there were hundreds or thousands of people around us. I was there with Sookie; I was kissing Sookie; that's all that mattered. Only when we were jostled by the crowd around us did I finally manage to pull my lips away to ask if she was ready to go back the house.

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"No?" I asked incredulously. "You don't want to go back and erm, pick up where we left off?"

She threw her head back and laughter and took a step away from me, reaching out to clasp my hand. "There's plenty of time for that. It's only seven o'clock."

"What do you want to do then?" I asked, trying not to sound as frustrated as I felt. The woman was able to get a rise out of me with a forty second kiss; I would have thought I could do the same to her. No, scratch that, I knew I could do the same to her. She was just better at controlling her urges than I was.

"Let's go get a drink," she said, walking forward and tugging my hand for me to follow.

"We've been drinking all afternoon," I pointed out.

"We're in Aspen," she said with a chuckle. "It's not every day that we're in a place like this. We might as well go out and enjoy it while we're here."

She had a point, but then again so had that blond guy in the Karate Kid II. Having a point didn't necessarily make you right.

"We can enjoy ourselves at the house. I can guarantee you it'd be more pleasurable than getting a drink."

She shook her head and smiled over her shoulder at me. "You're incorrigible."

"Only when it comes to you."

"Come on," she said, tugging my hand. "One drink. There's a bar up here that Amelia took me to last time we came here before I moved to Shreveport."

I followed behind her reluctantly. One drink wouldn't take long. I could wait for one drink. Plus, it never hurt to go to other bars and see what they were doing, to see if there was anything I could incorporate into Ostermalm SW.

The bar was full when we stepped in, the clientele similar to that of all the clubs back in Stureplan. The young, the rich, the beautiful were all congregated in the open area, perfectly lit by the wall of windows that led out to the hotel's pool. By some stroke of good fortune, Sookie managed to catch the bartender's attention and getting our drinks wasn't too painful.

The music was a tad too loud, I thought; and the wait staff was a bit too standoffish for my taste, but I could see how a place like this would do well with this particular group of people. I spotted an empty table for two across the dance floor, and took Sookie's hand in mine to lead her there. I wasn't particularly interested in partaking in the scene, and I wouldn't lie and say that I wasn't hoping to get Sookie to lower her inhibitions a little bit more in the secluded corner table.

I sat on the long bench, pulling Sookie down next to me. One gin and tonic quickly turned into another and sure enough, Sookie began edging herself closer to me, so close that one more inch and she'd be seated properly on my lap.

"Eric Northman," she said, letting out a sigh.

"Yes?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Do you know what next week is?" she asked, running her fingertips along the rim of her half-empty glass.

"Don't tell me you have to go somewhere next week for Portia. I'm sure I could talk to her about it," I smirked.

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I don't have to go anywhere."

"Then what's next week?"

She turned to face me, a frown marring her face. "Midsommer."

"Oh," I said, letting out breath I didn't realize I was holding. Of course I knew it was Midsommer next week. I had always known when Midsommer was before, but since that fateful night last year, I was unlikely to ever forget it. "That."

"Yes," she said. "That."

"And…" I trailed off, trying to contain my smile as her frown deepened.

"And," she said, "that means it's been twelve months since…"

"Since what?" I asked innocently.

"Since you," she blushed. "Since we…"

"Became lovers?" I asked, quirking my eyebrow in her direction and smiling when I noticed the blush creeping up her neck.

She nodded and quickly took a drink. I watched her for a moment in silence before leaning down and brushing a kiss across her temple.

"Did you think I would forget something like that?" I whispered in her ear.

She stiffened next to me and shook her head.

"Lover," I continued, running my hand up the length of her thigh. "I will never forget that night. I will never forget how you looked bathed in the moonlight and nothing else; never forget the way it felt to finally have you."

She didn't say anything, but I felt the shiver run through her body at my words and smiled against her ear. "I thought I would die if I didn't have you," I whispered. "I still feel that way."

She made a sort of whimpering sound, barely audible over the noise of the music blaring over the speakers, and I knew that she was putty in my hands. There was nothing I enjoyed more than when I could make Sookie speechless, whether it was through words I said, or things I did to her. She didn't do anything to stop me as my hand crept further still up her thigh, tugging the hem of the dress along with it. My fingers brushed against the soft skin of her thigh and I emitted my own low groan when her hand clamped down on mine.

"What?" I asked breathlessly, pulling my head back from its resting position against hers to look at the shocked expression on her face.

"I-" she shook her head and looked up at me. "I think… is that?" she mumbled.

"What?"

She closed her eyes and then reopened them, focusing on a spot in the middle of the crowd. "I think I saw…" she trailed off, biting her lower lip. "Is that?" she pointed.

My eyes followed her finger into the crowd. There were probably two hundred people milling about. Not knowing what I was looking for would make it difficult to find what she was pointing at, or so I thought. I knew who she was pointing to the minute I saw the mop of bleached blonde hair. Without even seeing her face, I knew.

"Madeline," I grumbled, under my breath.

We hadn't seen anyone from our Stockholm adventure in the almost twelve months since we'd returned. Hell, I wasn't planning on seeing any of them ever again if I had my way. Needless to say, it came as a bit of a shock to the system to see the woman who started it all standing not twenty feet in front of us.

"What are the chances?" I mumbled, looking down at Sookie. The look of shock that had covered her face earlier was replaced with a sardonic smile as she watched Madeline flirt with a short, heavyset man twice her age.

"Looks like orange is still in fashion," she said with a smirk, nodding in Madeline's direction.

I chuckled and nodded, reluctantly raising my hand from her bare thigh to take a swig of the beer I had ordered. "Orange will never go out of fashion in Ostermalm," I said. "I wonder what she's doing here."

"Maybe she was exiled from Stureplan," Sookie suggested with a shrug. "Or maybe Andre got the entire family deported with one of his escapades."

I felt my muscles tighten at the mere mention of Andre's name. Sookie had seemingly been able to shrug the incident off, occasionally making jokes about the asshole, but I hadn't. I wasn't one that carried a grudge, never had been. It was much easier to forget and move on than harbor anger, but Andre had changed that. The mere mention of his name and memory of finding Sookie in his clutches brought the feeling of helpless rage I had felt that day back to the surface.

"Eric," I heard Sookie's voice say, as if from a distance. "Eric," she repeated.

I closed my eyes briefly before opening them and looking down at her. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Her eyes were filled with concern as she looked at me.

"I'm fine," I mumbled, shaking my head to clear the memories that were flitting about my mind.

"Look at her," Sookie said, leaning back into the bench against me. "She hasn't changed a bit."

"It's kind of difficult to change when you're full of botox, bleach and silicone. The laws of physics stop applying to you."

We watched as Madeline threw her head back in laughter. "Goodness, everything is fake about that one, isn't it?" Sookie asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Fake hair; fake tan; fake tits; heck, she can't even laugh convincingly. Though, to her credit, it doesn't look like Newman there could make anyone laugh if he tried."

"I'm sure he's got something that appeals to her," I said. Madeline Lundgren never did anything that wasn't to her advantage

"Mmm, I suppose so," Sookie said, taking a long sip of her gin and tonic. "He's not nearly my type though."

"No?" I asked with a chuckle. "Short, old and slimy doesn't do it for you?"

"Nope," she said, shaking her head and turning to face me.

I grinned and encouraged her to continue.

"I'm more of a tall, handsome and decidedly blond kind of girl," she said, running her hand through my hair.

"Phew," I said with a chuckle, "sounds like I make the cut."

"You are the cut," she said, finishing her drink. "Let's go back to the house," she murmured in my ear.

"I thought you wanted to stay out and enjoy Aspen," I replied with a smirk. "Like you said, it's not every day that we're in a place like this. We might as well go out and enjoy it while we're here."

She laughed, standing up and shaking her head at me. "And here I thought you'd want to find out the surprise I had planned for you."

I stood up quickly, all pretense of staying cool quickly thrown out the window at the thought of what she had in store for me. "My surprise?"

"Yep," she said, reaching out to grab my hand. She led me out to the front doors without another word. I willingly followed as she led us through the crowd, purposefully avoiding Madeline and her crew. Only when the cooler night air hit us as we stepped outside did I stop her. I tugged on her hand, pulling her into my arms and capturing her lips with mine. When I had her breathless and panting, I lifted my head.

"What's the surprise?"

She pulled back far enough to look up at me and smiled. "Do you think I'd give it up that easily Northman? Do you know me at all?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Does it involve the hot tub on the deck?"

She brought her hand up to her mouth and made a motion like she was locking it.

"Did you finally get that Princess Leia bikini I wanted you to wear?" I taunted with a smirk, crossing my fingers in an exaggerated motion. She'd mocked my request to wear the infamous outfit for me when I'd suggested it a few months ago, but Sookie was known to change her mind.

"No," she giggled, shaking her head resolutely.

I frowned. "Does it involve a bikini at all?"

"No!" she said, slapping at my arm playfully.

"Will you answer one question?"

"Maybe," she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.

I stepped closer, leaning down to murmur in her ear. "Please tell me that it involves you being naked."

"That's not a question," she said with a resolute nod. "But if it were, I would say yes, yes it does. Now," she continued, walking in front of me, "take me home."

She didn't have to tell me twice.


End file.
